


Of Glasses and Babies

by Saetha



Series: Two Suns in the Sunset [3]
Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Glasses, Glasses kink, M/M, Sillyness, also did you notice how bad I am with fic titles because yeah I totally am, also includes a make out session on the sofa, our two jerks are forced to babysit for a moment and the results are...unexpected
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-11
Updated: 2014-07-11
Packaged: 2018-02-08 10:34:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,481
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1937628
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Saetha/pseuds/Saetha
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Dwalin really needs glasses, Thorin is getting tired of arguing with him about it and Glóin is a very proud father whose son unexpectedly proves more than a challenge to Thorin and Dwalin than they'd like to admit.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Of Glasses and Babies

**Author's Note:**

> Written as a bonus for Day 5 of Dworin Week (Prompt: AU), this is a silly little side story set a few years years after the end of Louder than Words (although you don't necessarily have to have read it to understand this). I just felt the urge to write something silly and vaguely funny (also vaguely sexy) in this universe before we tackle the big story. (And yes, the "I don't speak baby"-line was inspired by SPN ;D)

"Dwalin, how much milk?"

"Hm?"

"The recipe. How much milk did it say it needs again?"

Thorin tried to hide an exasperated sigh as the man who he had been living with for three years now squinted at the small writing in the book in front of him. When he still didn't receive an answer after more than a minute had passed, he walked over and snatched the book out of Dwalin's hands. After measuring the right amount into a mug and putting it aside for later use, he turned around to where Dwalin was sitting at the kitchen table, apparently occupied with nothing else besides staring at him and watching him cook.

"You need glasses." he calmly asserted, fully prepared for the murderous glance his friend was sending him. This wasn't the first time they were having this argument - Thorin had noticed months ago that Dwalin had trouble reading anything in small writing that was reasonably close to his eyes. Stubborn fool that he was, Dwalin had refused to acknowledge that anything was wrong. It had become almost a game between them now, with the same sentences repeated over and over until one of them, usually Thorin, gave up.

"I don't."

"Damn it, Dwalin, you couldn't even read the recipe book just now!"

"So what? You can read it yourself just fine, as you did right now."

Thorin rolled his eyes. It didn't escape him that Dwalin hadn't questioned his statement that he had been unable to decipher the words and numbers.

"I sure as hell won't be reading for you all the time. What are you going to do if Balin wants you to sign something and you don't even know what it is?"

"I can simply ask him."

"Dwalin..." Thorin felt like he was being faced with a particularly stubborn child. He suddenly thought he could understand his own mother's pained expression much better when confronted with the antics of her three children.

"I think your food is burning."

Dwalin's voice was completely calm as he pointed out what had just registered in Thorin's brain as well, courtesy of a sudden and heavy stench in the air.

"FUCK!" Thorin whirled around and spent the next few minutes limiting the damage and tending to the rest of their meal, all the while muttering angrily under his breath. They didn't approach the subject again that day, instead enjoying the dinner that Thorin had prepared and discussing their plans for the morrow. Both of them had taken a holiday for a few days, planning on visiting Dís and her children on a trip that was long overdue. Thorin frowned as he remembered something that had hung at the back of his mind for a while now.

"We should drive past the office tomorrow."

" _Past_?" Dwalin echoed the word, sounding slightly incredulous. "You know it's in almost the opposite direction, right?"

"Yeah." Thorin shrugged. "Sorry. I forgot to hand in the form about the new recruits' schedule I promised Balin and Thranduil. It's already done, but ideally they would've gotten it yesterday."

Now it was Dwalin's turn to roll his eyes. They knew how much both his brother and their boss hated to wait for something. There was no need to complicate the relationship between them and Thranduil even further by handing him a simple schedule late.

"Seems like there's nothing for it, then. You're getting old."

"...says the one whose eyesight is slowly failing." Thorin snorted.

"Shut up."

*

They woke up early the next morning and, after a short phone call on Thorin's part, prepared themselves quickly for their departure.

"Car or motorbike?" Dwalin frowned as he looked at Thorin trying to comb out the tangles in his hair. He often made a point of getting up ten minutes later than him only to be ready earlier.

"Car. You drive."

Thorin's answer was short and sounded tired. He had never been particularly fond of early mornings despite it having been a necessity in his job. Now that he wasn't working actively in the field anymore his working hours were much more regular, although Dwalin was still bound to the mobile police department's shift schedule and as a light sleeper Thorin always woke up when he arrived or left.

Dwalin nodded. There was no need to argue the point that he would act as the driver today; they both knew that on long drives Thorin's knee still tended to hurt from the constant tension put on it and although he would never shy away from a task that needed doing only due to pain, it was much easier for them if Dwalin would drive.

They arrived at the headquarters of their police unit not much later. Balin frowned when they entered his office.

"Shouldn't you two be on holiday?"

Dwalin gave a pained sigh and jerked his chin in Thorin's direction.

"Apparently he forgot to give you some papers, which is why we are currently _here_ instead of on the way to visit Dís and her sons."

Balin just lifted his eyebrows and threw Thorin a questioning glance that he answered with a glare that was somewhere between apologetic and daring him to make a remark about 'forgetfulness' and 'growing old'.

"Oh, Dwalin..." the older of the two brothers suddenly seemed to remember something. "Here, since you're here right now you can as well sign this. I prepared it the other day."

He handed him a sheet of paper. Dwalin looked at his brother as if to enquire what was written on it but Balin just held out a pen, obviously expecting him to sign whatever it was that he had just given him. Thorin remained quiet as he watched Dwalin trying to decipher the small writing on the sheet and giving up after a few moments, just putting his signature on the bottom.

Thorin snatched the paper from his hand as he wanted to give it back to Balin and shot him a smirk, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

"So you really agree to bring out the trash for the next four weeks? That's so _nice_ of you."

"What..."

Thorin waved the document he had just signed in front of him and Dwalin groaned as he slowly began to understand.

"Don't tell me you..."

"Yes." Balin cut in and Dwalin felt the sudden urge to punch both his brother and his boyfriend in the face. Hard. Their relentless and, in Thorin's case at least, smug stares at him did nothing to alleviate his sudden anger, although he had to give Thorin credit for setting up this small ploy with his brother just this morning. At least now he knew what the mysterious phone call had been for.

"You know you-"

Dwalin had been about to cut off his brother and tell him where exactly he could put his well-meaning advice when someone else stepped through the half-open door into the office.

Glóin was grinning widely when he saw the three of them and gestured to the little bundle in his arm that, after closer inspection, turned out to be a sleeping baby swaddled in some clothes and a thick blanket. From the pride in his face there was no mistaking it that the child was definitely his. Now that Dwalin thought about it, he clearly remembered Glóin telling him about his pregnant wife and that she had given birth a few months ago.

"Lís has an important appointment today so she dropped off Gimli with me for about an hour. Isn't he amazing?"

Dwalin didn't quite know what exactly could be 'amazing' about a small human not even a year old and too small to really do anything, but he put on his most approving face and nodded. He'd never had younger siblings or contact with really young children, so he looked over to Thorin for a clue on how to act. He, however, seemed to be just as lost as himself, despite several people in his family being younger than him. The only one who seemed truly at ease with the new arrivals was Balin, who gave Glóin a smile and proceeded to ask him in an understanding tone about everything that the young family had faced in the past weeks.

Thorin and Dwalin were close to simply leaving the two of them behind and returning to their well-earned holiday when the ringing of a phone could be heard echoing through the hallway. Glóin blanched slightly at the sound and looked at the baby in his arm with an alarmed expression.

"I need to get this call. Can you hold him for a moment?" he asked Thorin who was standing closest to him.

Thorin shot a slightly desperate look at the two brothers in the room who just grinned in response. Dwalin couldn't help but think that this was a fine piece of vengeance that presented itself here. Glóin didn't even wait for a reply from his colleague, but unceremoniously dropped his son in Thorin's arms. Seconds later the sound of his frantic footsteps disappeared down the hallways as he raced to pick up the telephone.

Of course, Gimli chose exactly that moment to wake up.

The look of confusion in Thorin's face slowly morphed into something akin to panic as the baby's big eyes stared at him, the tiny hands grasping blindly around the air until they found hold in Thorin's hair. With an almost automatic movement Gimli made a satisfied little sound and immediately put the few strands he had grasped into his mouth.

"Dwalin, he's _chewing my hair_."

_(Fanart by the amazing[Imjustahobbit](http://imjustahobbit.tumblr.com) on [Tumblr](http://imjustahobbit.tumblr.com/post/91565298539/sooooo-first-attempt-at-digital-doodling))_

 

Dwalin had never seen his boyfriend so terrified, not even when he had told him that their old bookshelf had crashed under the weight of all the literature on it. It was the hardest thing he had ever done not to start laughing. Thorin shot him a murderous glance and then tried to tug out his hair from the baby's grasp. His actions seemed to agitate Gimli who started crying as soon as his mouth was empty. He tried to shush the boy by softly rocking him on his arms and making soothing sounds, but to no avail.

"What am I supposed to do?" Thorin asked, the panic in his voice now obvious.

Dwalin shook his head whilst his brother barely suppressed a chuckle by turning it into a cough at the last minute.

"Why do you ask me? I don't speak baby! You are the one with two younger siblings _and_ two nephews to boot! You said you were good with children!"

"Yeah, I said 'children', not 'babies'! After I hit Dís on the head with her rattle when she wouldn't stop crying my mother never left me alone with a baby again!"

Gimli's cries started turning into loud wailing, his head already becoming red from the strain. After all his efforts had failed, Thorin simply thrust out the baby towards Dwalin, whose eyebrows went up at the gesture.

"You take him."

Dwalin's eyes widened, but if he had to be honest, the constant crying was grating at his nerves as well and it quickly became clear that Thorin was even worse at handling babies than he was at sleeping without Dwalin beside him. He carefully took the bundle of cloth and baby in his own arms and just hoped Glóin would return soon.

A surprised expression flickered over Gimli's face at yet another unknown person holding him. In contrast to when he had been on Thorin's arms, however, he went quiet almost immediately as he stared into Dwalin's grey eyes. Something about his face seemed to soothe him since a slight smile of Dwalin's made him giggle in delight, his little fingers curling around Dwalin's index finger.

'Astonishment' was almost an understatement for what he could see expressed on Thorin's face now.

"Apparently you _do_ speak baby, brother." Balin remarked dryly, but unable to keep his lips from twitching in barely-suppressed amusement. Dwalin glared at him, only now remembering that Balin always seemed to have had a talent with both babies and children and was likely clapping in glee behind his usual calm facade.

Gimli still seemed to be delighted by the man who was holding him now, laughing as Dwalin tickled his belly. Slowly he began to understand why parents were so fascinated by those tiny humans.

Glóin chose exactly the moment to return when Gimli let out another gurgling laugh and the eyes of the proud father immediately lit up at the sight. He gently took his son back from Dwalin's arms who, after all, was still relieved to hand Gimli over to his father again. He had half feared he would drop the baby or harm it in any other way with his big hands. The look Thorin sent him clearly said ' _We're not having children. Ever._ ' and he found himself forced to agree. Better to spoil those of their colleagues and friends.

They were on their way only a few minutes later, after Balin had once again cast a meaningful glance at Dwalin and the paper he had signed earlier that was still on his table.

*

A week later normality had returned to their lives after the short holiday. The visit at Dís' had proved equally taxing and delightful, as always. At least it hadn't been as complicated as the visit with the entirety of Thorin's family at Christmas. The presence of two adolescent boys, however, both of who were right in the middle of puberty was never exactly calming and when Frerin had joined them in the evening Dwalin was quickly reminded why Thorin sometimes called them the 'unholy trinity of inappropriate jokes'. Thorin had quickly volunteered to prepare dinner just to escape their teasing presence and both his sister and Dwalin had been quick enough to join him.

There was a small surprise awaiting Thorin when he returned home ( _a home full of life and warmth_ , his mind supplied and he still couldn't help but smile at the thought, even after years) after a long day that had included both paperwork and the first lessons with the new recruits. He winced at the pain in his knee as he ascended the stairs - the rainy weather outside didn't exactly help with the matter either. All he truly wanted this evening was to sit down in front of the TV, put his leg up and not do much in terms of thinking or moving. Maybe Dwalin, who'd had the night shift the night before and should have finished sleeping by now had already ordered takeout as he sometimes did.

Dwalin was indeed awake already and lounging on their sofa, one of his motorcycle magazines on his knees.

"Hey." Thorin called out to him whilst he was discarding his boots and coat.

His boyfriend started to turn around before he aborted the movement, did something outside Thorin's view and turned back to him again.

Thorin frowned. Had he just seen...?

He put his keys on the key holder that had been a present from Frerin for their anniversary last year (it said a lot about his brother and their relationship that Frerin had remembered the date whereas both Thorin and Dwalin hadn't) - the small figurine of a hand with two outstretched fingers that had sent Dwalin into laughing fits and Thorin into second-hand embarrassment. Stepping fully into their living room, he cautiously approached the sofa where Dwalin was still fiddling with a small etui.

"Were those glasses?" he asked, trying unsuccessfully to keep the smile out of his voice.

Dwalin just murmured something unintelligible under his breath and pointed at the two boxes of pizza on the table instead. Thorin chose not to pursue the subject for the moment, a decision greatly facilitated by the grumbling of his empty stomach.

Only when they had finished eating did he approach the issue again. He just pointed at the etui that Dwalin had hidden in the pocket of his trousers.

"Can I see?"

He could almost see the different desires warring in Dwalin's face for a moment - the urge to simply keep denying was struggling with the awareness of how silly such a task would be. Then Dwalin pulled out his glasses with a sigh, handing them to the man sitting next to him.

Thorin smiled at the gesture, turning the glasses with their black frame over in his hands before giving them back to him.

"Do they help?"

"Yeah." Dwalin had to admit. As if to prove his words he put them on and snatched the TV programme from where it was lying on the table in front of them. After reading out a few paragraphs from a random page, he made a movement to take his new glasses off and was unexpectedly stopped by a hand on his arm.

"No, leave them on."

There was a change in the tone of his boyfriend's voice that Dwalin couldn't quite place, if only because he hadn't expected it. Moments later Thorin's lips met his and somewhere in the back of his head his mind quietly supplied the information that it had been _huskiness_. The kiss was hungry and rough, involving teeth as much as tongue. Dwalin was surprised, but he felt his body respond almost immediately.

The etui clattered to the floor as he shifted slightly, his hand coming up to rest on Thorin's neck and softly stroke the curve of his ear with his thumb. Thorin's hand was on his knee, clinging to his skin under the soft fabric so firmly that he could feel its warmth radiating into his own body. Both of them were breathless when they separated again, lips swollen from kissing and eyes going dark.

"So I take it you like them?" Dwalin grinned as his gaze travelled downwards from the fever in Thorin's eyes over the curve of his neck to where the fabric of his shirt was tightening around the muscles of his shoulders and chest.

"Mhmmm."

Thorin came closer again even as a slight smirk appeared on his face when he licked his lips.

"You should put them on more often." he suggested softly before leaning in once more.

"Well, if you like them so much, maybe I will." Dwalin whispered teasingly into his ear, drawing a sharp exhalation from Thorin as his hot breath was tingling on his skin.

The glasses quickly ended up on the table as their movements became increasingly more agitated. Dwalin's fingers tangled themselves in Thorin's hair, tugging at the strands and caressing the skin of his scalp. Thorin smiled under his breath, his kisses peppering the skin of Dwalin's face and then his throat, quickly moving downwards until his hands were tearing at the fabric of the Dwalin's shirt. They followed the line of muscles visible through the cloth, hands firm on his skin as he pushed him down to lie on his back. His earlier tiredness was momentarily forgotten as he raked his fingers through the stubble of Dwalin's beard, revelling in the feeling of his lover's fingertips digging into his back and hips and the way the touch of his lips was setting his skin on fire.

As he propped himself up on his elbows and knees above him Dwalin smiled, drinking in his sight with eyes the grey of a heavily clouded summer's sky.

"Your knee ok?" he murmured, even as his fingers were lazily travelling up Thorin's arms, pushing up the sleeves of his shirt to feel the muscles beneath.

"We can always move to bed if you want."

Everything in Thorin screamed at him to just shut up and let him continue but a painful tug in his leg reminded him that they would lose nothing if they did as Dwalin had suggested. After all, the small interruption provided them with at least one advantage - a few minutes later they found themselves beneath their covers, clothes discarded on the floor and the lingering heat under their skin quickly rekindled with a few touches. The flames grew into a fire, slowly consuming them as they moved in unison, a destruction of mind and restraint that they both craved. Thorin's whispers of Dwalin's name quickly grew into moans as his skin was marked by nails and teeth, his own fingers scratching along the shape of tattoos, drawing bruises into skin that would remind them the next day of the ecstasy they had shared tonight. Dwalin was panting into the crease of his neck, tasting the salt on his skin and unable to hold back his own groans as he felt his lover coming within him.

Thorin dropped off into sleep quickly afterwards, hair spread around him in an inorderly halo and arms still draped loosely around Dwalin. He smiled when he watched his sleeping face and the soft heaving of his chest each time he breathed.

He would definitely keep the glasses.


End file.
